Dear All the Sweet and Wonderful Muses,

You all rock!

I was reading the January 2008 issue of Muse when I realized I have only seen around two letters written by guys to Muse!!!. So I came up with some ideas of why: 1. I was one of only three Muse readers that were guys. 2. All Muse readers that are guys are too lazy to write. 3. They are not man enough to write. 4. The editors are evil and decided they wouldn't publish any guys' letters (evil editors).

Also, in the January 2008 Muse it said, "We have a universe. It is a place of the most wondrous and gratifying possibility, and beautiful, too. And it was all done in about the time it takes to make a sandwich." I was wondering if the sandwich was toasted.

Thank you so much for publishing this letter. My three favorite Muses are (in order) 1. Chad, 2. Aeiou, 3. Bo, 4. Urania, and 5. Kokopelli.

Sincerely,

Kadallah Burrowes, age 12, MD

P.S. If you don't publish this I will send my cat Ricky who has superpowers to attack the editor who won't publish boys' letters.

P.P.S. My cat is a boy calico so the chances of him being that are 1/3000.

Maybe boys press down harder on their pencils, leaving more graphite on the paper and making their letters heavier, so they sink to the bottom of the FMP!

-Urania

That's a good idea. . . we can build a Mass-Based Epistolary Sorter to test the effect of gender on correspondence weight, then extrapol- (SPLAT!!) Hey! What was that for?

-Chad

Testing the effect of meringue on boring theories!

-Kokopelli

Hi Muse!

I would like an article about ancient Greece. (Okay, chances mere was one recently, and since I've only been a Musie since 2005, I probably missed it. But I'm learning about it at school and it seems worthy of a Muse issue. Plus there's the MUSE = MUSES = GREECE factor . . .)

I've noticed that in most of the letters that get accepted there is either a picture, a pointed-out flaw in the magazine (*gasp* how dare they!), or an interesting threat. Since I don't have a camera on me, and haven't actually found an error in the mag yet, I shall do a threat. Here goes (my LA teacher better like this):

If this email gets sent into the Fan Mail Pit, Zeus will hurl his thunderbolt, Hera will send out her evil peacocks of doom, Athena will correct them all, Aphrodite will sit there and look pretty, Demeter will cause all the plants to die, Poseidon will cause the waters to rise, Hades will look hideously scary, Hephaestus will make a huge volcano erupt, Ares will run around aimlessly and cause chaos, Apollo will be so perfect that he'll annoy everyone, Artemis will hunt down assorted things in a chaotic way, Hestia will tend the fire for everyone, Dionysus will grow huge grape vines, and to top it all off, Hot Pink Bunnies will barge into the Editors' office and demand the email back.

Your biggest fan,

Maddie (greekfreek on MuseBlog), age 11, PA

Eek! Hot Pink Bunnies?? A lot has changed since the last time I was home!

-Urania

Dear Readers: Just so you know, it is not necessary to threaten us, our homes, or our pets in order to have your Utter published. Sometimes, we even kind of like it when people are nice to us.

-the Editors

Dear Muses,

I was reading your highly esteemed magazine today and as I read the Q&A section, I noticed that under the question, it said Andy, not Robert or Rosanne. I would like to know why you have decided that Robert and Rosanne are not going to be doing the Q&A section anymore.

Your reader,

S.P.

P.S. Cats rule.

Robert and Rosanne are taking a well-earned break from the demands of Q&A. I guess they need to spend urne on their "day jobs, " though I can't imagine what job is more fin than Muse columnist! Meanwhile, our new friends Ruth and Andy are very excited to start answering your questions. And you can still find Robert and Rosanne on the MuseBlog!

-Mimi

Dear Muse,

I am a Muse receiver from Day One, and up until this year the magazine has been awaited anxiously and perused thoroughly the first moment it came. But as of this year I have been disappointed in you. The first time I felt this most grievous pang was when I was saddened to see you doing articles on things like computer games, alter egos, etc., and I was shocked to see that in your Oct. 2007 issue, you seemed to promote the use of computer games to create an "ideal" self. The amount of time that the people in your article spent on the computer was absurd. I could perhaps forgive this unforgivable-ness if you had not seemed almost to encourage it by making the contest that month to send in your own "avatar." Don't you think that it is far better for kids and teens to do something real, like make up a play, write poetry, go for a walk, or read a book? I do, and I had thought that you shared my views until now. Computer games fry your brain!!!!!!!!! I must admit that at that moment I considered ending my subscription. I did change my mind, but in the future I may not be so lenient. I hope that in the future you will do more articles on historical places, times, and people (such as the Civil War, the French Revolution, or Robert the Bruce). Thank you for listening to my tirade.

Yours etc.

With all the best regards,

Miss Manners, etiquette freak (a.k.a. Sarah S., age 17, CT)

Aeiou insists that you check out this month's contest winners-she says it's pretty cool stuff But I get your point. Everyone expresses themselves in different ways-/like to write poetry! I am already getting my poems ready on the upcoming HISTORY articles! Let's see, what rhymes with "revolution"?

-Craaw

Dear Muse,

I am writing because in your article "Talking to Ghosts" you mentioned how Bell and his brodier made a pact that whoever died first would attempt to make contact with the other through a more reliable channel than the s nce medium.

Houdini, the great escape artist, made a similar pact with his wife, except they would attempt to communicate through a séance medium. They devised a code that only they knew.

When Houdini died, his wife held many séances with many different mediums to see if Houdini could communicate with her. One of them eventually was successful, though they expected the code had been discovered and the medium was not reliable.

Anyhoo, after that amazing history lesson, I would like to conclude that my favorite Muse is Bo. Enclosed is my amazing extraordinary origami carrot. Yes, I know I missed the contest and this letter is far too long to publish, but you can just use the missing 8 pages to print it.

Your adoring reader,

Emily P., age 13, IA

That's right, Emily. Even though Harry Houdini's wife, Bess, gave up trying to communicate with his ghost after 10 years, the annual Halloween séance continues to this day! It's currently held at the Houdini Museum in Scranton, PA. And thank you for the, urn, carrot.

-Bo

Greetings!

I just received your latest magazine (January 2008) yesterday, and after fighting over it with my brother (the subscription is his, even I admit it; I got a renewal for him for his birthday) I turned the page-and diere was an article by Bill Bryson! I LOVE Bill Brysons writing! I never, ever expected to find it in Muse, but there it was! I don't know why I never would have thought of it. Maybe I thought that it would be too good to be true: something by Bill Bryson in a Muse magazine. Two out-of-this-world things combined.

Anyway, sorry to go on and on about how much I like Bill Bryson, because that is definitely not the only really good thing about your magazine. I think probably my favorite regular part of the magazine is "Dear Muse Reader," in the front. Nancy Kangas is soooo FUNNY! I have a question: has she written a book? And if so, what is it called? And if not, why not? I want MORE of the hilarity!

One last thing: it is a tradition among fans to threaten the editors with something drastic if they don't publish their letter. IF that is something necessary to get my letter published, seeing as I don't have a picture of me with Muse in a foreign land (though I have been to Germany several times, and Niagara Falls), I have written a threat in the P.S. Don't read it, AT YOUR OWN RISK, if you don't want to (heh heh heh).

Yours impatient-waiting-for-thenexx.-Muse-ly,

Madeleine S., age 12, NH

P.S. If you do not put this letter somewhere like in the magazine or on the Muse mail page online, all of my farm animals including some wacko guinea hens will hunt you down. Here is what they will do. The chickens will scatter your papers everywhere and then scratch them up to find the yummy things that must be underneath, the cows will leave cow plops just where your foot decides to be next, the sheep will eat everything remotely resembling food, and the guinea hens will make such a racket that your heads will explode from all the noise! So please publish this letter, because I don't know how my brother and I would live without Muse.

Please!. . . "Cow presents."

-Bo

Nancy Kangas says that she has the same question you do, Madeleine: IS she writing a book? She's pretty sure she's actually working on several, including some books of poetry and one of drawings and helpful hints. And Nancy told us to look for her first book in stores by 2010-though she added "You're kidding it's 2008 already??" and dashed off.

-the Editors

Send letters to Muse Mail, 70 E. Lake Street, Suite 300, Chicago, IL 60601, or send them by e-mail to muse@caruspub.com.

© 2008 Carus Publishing Company Provided by ProQuest LLC. All Rights Reserved.